I AM HORRIBLE AT MATH!! For my statistics class you have to get at least 70% on the "practice test" (which you can take as many times as you want up until tuesday night at 11pm) in order to take the test in class on wednesdays. This is probably the 4th or 5th time that I have NOT gotten at least a 70% on the quiz and have therefore been unable to take the test. And it isn't like I don't ask for help. I am in tutoring for this class alone at least 12 hours a week, probably more. It just doesn't seem to get through to me. I was doing really well in school up until Stats and Trig came along... always striving for A's and being the total perfectionist that I am. However, it is so hard for me to not give up! I already had to drop trig because I was failing, and now with stats, I really just want to quit! It is so hard to find the motivation to do the work, especially when I take the quiz over and over and over and the highest I can get is a 69.2% (I know... I was that close...) This class is frustrating me just about to my limit. I will be so glad come December 17th. Then it's back at it in January. Ughhhh.
I am choosing tonight to try and look on the bright side (now that I got my ranting out of the way) because I have had such a negative day. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving I am going to list some things that I am thankful for with the hopes of lifting my spirits...
First and foremost I am thankful for my God, who has remained ever-constant and has never left my side (even when I left his).
I am thankful that He is continually showing me His faithfulness through answered prayers and blessings.
I am thankful for my family who has been a great support system over the past two years.
I am thankful for my kitten, Tucker, who is truly my best friend on this earth. He is my comfort and my joy and the one being that I tell everything to. I do not know what I would do without him, for he understands me in a way that no human ever possibly could.
I am thankful for my friends as they are such an encouragement to me.
I am thankful for my church because it is a place where I can come as I am and still be excepted.
I am thankful for the beauty that I am seeing in everything. In the clouds and in the leaves, in smiles and in laughter.
I am thankful for the health I do have. And I can say that with 100% honesty. My condition sucks, but I could have it so much worse. And I am seeing that more and more each day. And when I do not feel well, whether it be pain or nausea, or whatever else, I try to remind myself that I am still blessed beyond measure.
When life's frustrations take their toll on me, I try to count the ways in which He has blessed me and proven to me time and time again that He loves me and He cares for me.
1 Peter 5:7 says, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (NLT)
Love and Thankfulness, Melissa
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hosanna
I have complete and utter sorrow in my heart for those who are suffering in Uganda and all over Africa, actually, all over the world. Tonight I had the wonderful privilege of hearing (for the second time!) a presentation from the organization, Invisible Children. In short, Invisible Children is an organization that works in Uganda and throughout Eastern Africa to save children from being abducted or murdered due to the war. (Here is their website for the whole story: http://www.invisiblechildren.com ) Each time I think about what is going on over there, my heart wrenches. These children have no idea of what a life of peace means. All that they know is war, violence, murder, illness, and suffering. Many of these children were abducted at a very young age by the rebels and watched their parent(s) be murdered right before their eyes. Imagine how horrible it must be to endure that, to have your entire family murdered, to be abducted and beaten, scared and alone. And to think that these kinds of things do not happen only in Uganda, but all over our world. I consider myself so fortunate.
Recently I have had a song on my mind. "Hosanna" means "save us." Here are some of the song's lyrics:
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause.
As I walk from earth into eternity.
There is so much aid that is needed all over the world. And it breaks my heart to hear about situations like the one in Eastern Africa. It is a constant battle of good versus evil because the devil is always at work. He is always trying to tear down the kingdom of God. But God is at work and we should be working right alongside Him to rectify the horrible acts that are taking place to God's children. I always wonder why God doesn't just put an end to it with the snap of His fingers. I do not doubt that he is capable of it, but sometimes I wonder why He allows acts like these to continue. And I guess I will never know until my work here is done and I am called home. But I do know that until I am, I have a job to do. And my job is to be the light of my Lord in a world of darkness. Though I cannot change the situation in Uganda, I CAN do my part in giving what I can financially and most importantly, praying and spreading the word. People need to be aware of the happenings of this world and Christians are called out to take a stand against evil, even if in the smallest way. Each time we do something nice for another being, we make God smile. And I have discovered that this is my daily goal: to make my God smile.
What amazes me about Invisible Children is that these kids have been through things that I can't even imagine being subjected to and they have this huge love for the Lord and amidst the violence and inequality and horrible horrible happenings in their lives, they strive for peace and they strive for a better life. I wish to do all that I can to help.
My prayer and hope is the God will continue to open my eyes and my heart. I want to live in the footsteps of Jesus. I want my heart to break for what His heart breaks and most of all I want to be a light in the darkness and an example of my God's love.
Love and Peace, Melissa
Recently I have had a song on my mind. "Hosanna" means "save us." Here are some of the song's lyrics:
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause.
As I walk from earth into eternity.
There is so much aid that is needed all over the world. And it breaks my heart to hear about situations like the one in Eastern Africa. It is a constant battle of good versus evil because the devil is always at work. He is always trying to tear down the kingdom of God. But God is at work and we should be working right alongside Him to rectify the horrible acts that are taking place to God's children. I always wonder why God doesn't just put an end to it with the snap of His fingers. I do not doubt that he is capable of it, but sometimes I wonder why He allows acts like these to continue. And I guess I will never know until my work here is done and I am called home. But I do know that until I am, I have a job to do. And my job is to be the light of my Lord in a world of darkness. Though I cannot change the situation in Uganda, I CAN do my part in giving what I can financially and most importantly, praying and spreading the word. People need to be aware of the happenings of this world and Christians are called out to take a stand against evil, even if in the smallest way. Each time we do something nice for another being, we make God smile. And I have discovered that this is my daily goal: to make my God smile.
What amazes me about Invisible Children is that these kids have been through things that I can't even imagine being subjected to and they have this huge love for the Lord and amidst the violence and inequality and horrible horrible happenings in their lives, they strive for peace and they strive for a better life. I wish to do all that I can to help.
My prayer and hope is the God will continue to open my eyes and my heart. I want to live in the footsteps of Jesus. I want my heart to break for what His heart breaks and most of all I want to be a light in the darkness and an example of my God's love.
Love and Peace, Melissa
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Counting My Blessings
I have been so overwhelmed the past few weeks when I think about all of the blessings that I have in my life. It has been wonderful because I am seeing the world in a new light and although I can always find something to complain about, like feeling sick, or traffic... I am constantly reminded that "it could be worse." For a long time I was angry and bitter about certain events and conditions in my life, and though God's purpose in those hardships has not yet been revealed to me, I am having a much easier time trusting Him.
I am trying this new thing where I come up with at least one thing that I am thankful for each day, and it has really helped me to put a positive spin on things. Today (and every day) I am thankful for the people that God has placed in my life. Each one of them has a specific purpose and presence that enriches my life. I am so unbelievably blessed beyond measure and I am forever thankful to each person who has impacted me. I have very much enjoyed learning from my friends in these past few months and continuing to grow in my faith and my walk with the Lord. I cannot thank them enough.
Love and Thanks, Melissa
I am trying this new thing where I come up with at least one thing that I am thankful for each day, and it has really helped me to put a positive spin on things. Today (and every day) I am thankful for the people that God has placed in my life. Each one of them has a specific purpose and presence that enriches my life. I am so unbelievably blessed beyond measure and I am forever thankful to each person who has impacted me. I have very much enjoyed learning from my friends in these past few months and continuing to grow in my faith and my walk with the Lord. I cannot thank them enough.
Love and Thanks, Melissa
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Compassion and Grace
Blogging has been on my mind for awhile now... It is something that I have wanted to do, just actually working up the discipline to sit down and write has been the challenge.
In my journey I have been learning so much about life, love, faith, and most of all, compassion and grace. Although I am unsure of how many people will actually take the time to sit down and read this, (and I thank all of you who do!) simply writing down my feelings and experiences, sharing them with those who listen, is glorifying to God. I have been so thankful to so many people for sharing pieces of their life with me, for this is how we learn from one another. And my hope in blogging is to perhaps shed some light on this crazy thing we call life and touch the heart of a friend or a stranger.
Love, Hope, and Discoveries, Melissa
In my journey I have been learning so much about life, love, faith, and most of all, compassion and grace. Although I am unsure of how many people will actually take the time to sit down and read this, (and I thank all of you who do!) simply writing down my feelings and experiences, sharing them with those who listen, is glorifying to God. I have been so thankful to so many people for sharing pieces of their life with me, for this is how we learn from one another. And my hope in blogging is to perhaps shed some light on this crazy thing we call life and touch the heart of a friend or a stranger.
Love, Hope, and Discoveries, Melissa
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